Don't mess with Texas

On my way to Dallas this weekend, I had a funny 10 minutes or so as I crossed into Texas. When driving alone, I get spaced out, listening to music. Time just stops, as I get into the rhythm of driving. I rousted a bit when I saw the sign “Welcome to Texas, Drive Friendly the Texas Way.” All of a sudden the road went from the disaster of pot holes and bumps, to this slick blacktop highway with new brightly painted white and yellow lines. My car suddenly felt like a well built speedboat gliding on calm waters. Welcome to Texas.

Anyone that lives around these parts knows that Texans like to show off and brag about their great state. My mother, a Texan from her youth, used to roll down the windows every time we crossed the border and exclaim, “the air is just better down here!” I wondered as I crossed over onto the super glass highway if those Texans were just showing off at the border. This image of big dudes with Stetsons at a state meeting came into my mind. A bunch of good ole boys laughing about how they could really make Oklahoma look bad by highway improvements at the border. Don’t mess with Texas!

As I glided along the blacktop laughing, my radio suddenly goes all static. I start pushing the scan button and all I can find is Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Saturday Night Special. OK, so those Skynyrd boys were from Florida, and the song is about gun control, but I still thought it was funny that this was the only song on the radio as I was driving into Texas. I blasted it and rolled down the windows. Rolling down the windows probably cost me $15 in gas. But hey, you gotta enter Texas in style. I was thirsty and I had to pee, so I started watching for a place, and all I could find was Western-wear outlet stores. My luck soon changed, when in the distance I could see a Cracker Barrel! Do people actually buy all that rick-rack in those Cracker Barrel stores? I ordered some tea to go, and the waitress sent me over to the register to pay. A good ole boy with a big smile says, “Baby, you don’t need to pay for that tea, have a great day, and welcome to Texas!”